i need a break very soon. Firstly i have given away my body for 9 whole months... next... my boobs does not belong to me anymore at least for the next 4 months when i breast feed. i have to regularly express milk cause if i dun i will have engorged breasts and then fever and .pain....dun want that.and why do i express instead of direct breast feeding? cus Dylan always falls alseep after 5 minutes of suckling. and wake up cry and wanna suckle again , fall asleep and wake up cry. if i let him be. the whole process will take like an hour, and i wun even know how much he drinks.

also i hate looking at my tummy...it is still like i am pregnant and i have a scar. not that i mind the scar. but my tummy still hurts at time. i thank God though i can walk ard already.

i hate my hair. cus it is so dry now... ugh and boofy.

hate hate hate it. i cant fit into most of my previous dresses also. not that i look fat now. but i hate not being able to fit into my old clothes anymore. yeah i know it is not the end of the world but you cant blame me for being glum ok..

so i will pamper myself in 11 days time! A hair rebond and dye.ugh dunno how long will it take but i bet the first thing i have to do is rush home after the salon to express again. * shrug* Dylan's one month old mummy must look good too ya. :D

dun really care how wada thinks already. he does not know how much he can do an impact on me. wish sometimes he can say dear you still look beautiful to me. ahhahahha.. i think that day all my stocks will rise 50 percent.

Been drowning myself and trying to escape during the free times in the Korean dramas....

baby is here. and after wedding... everything is like an anti climax now. and no more love in the air. seems like an arduous journey ahead of me, especially at the times when Dylan cries and i dunno what to do, like i have already fed him. I keep thinking how i will cope after the c. lady goes.

dear seems so caught up with his job , his changes in his job , that he dun really ask me how i cope anymore.I know his relocating back here is also for the benefit of me, but somehow i think that , i dun really play a part, cause if there is a more attractive package overseas, he wun give it up for me and Dylan.

and then especially this weekend.. he does not need to stay till sunday but he still stayed. i din say anything cause i tot he might need a breather, but how i wish he had taken the initiative not to stay instead. sometimes i get quite sick of spellin things out. isnt it only natural for the father to want to spend more time w his new born and wife rather than going to Macau. On the context of gambling and making more money, i dun need that. I am pretty satisfied w what i have got, but what is he thinking? why so greedy?it is also not as if he is in dire straits to have to gamble for money.and then when i call, i get blamed. it is not as if i called persistently, he din even call back throughout the day to check on me. if he thinks leaving me with the confinement lady is enough, i might as well marry her.Right?

i feel so sad. i need a hug now. i wish Dylan can reach out and say mama dun cry.

Things are getting better now... At least i learn not to panic when i hear Dylan cry... carry him , feed him by bottle , or breast feeding, burp him , change his diapers... The only thing i have yet to do is to bathe him....Anyway. My day starts early everyday , i watch the confinement lady like a hawk.. dun really trust her yet. Especially when she cleans Dylan's tuny mouth ....seems to be gagging him. I wonder what his jaundice level is now.. but i hope he gets it in control . Dylan baby... you promise mama you be strong boy ya.:D

Dear is back in hk now....good. so i need not step over him at night when i wake up . ugh.Anyway, i wonder why he likes to sleep so much. So irritating. I should be the one sleeping more , yet he keeps saying he is tired tired. Ya, i know he works in the day....but still. hiyah. let's see how when the C.Lady is gone. dunno he will help me willingly without being asked anot. .....* shrug*

I get very cranky nowadays, teary sometimes. ahahha for no reason . Oh dun worry, i wun kill the baby or myself, funny thing is that i find that when i cry , i tend to express more breast milk. lol. Maybe i am really stressed up .

I am so superstitious... that even when choosing the colour of the fonts i dare not use YELLOW cuase it reminds me of JAUNDICE....LOL

anyway.......just to not down some confinement myths here :) which i dont practise at all....Some might say i will regret it later when i am an old lady... but i have living proofs that these are all bull shit.

1) Cannot drink water ---wait ( lest) winde enter the stomach
2) Cannot wash hands wait wind enter your joints
3) Cannot shower for a whole month
4) Cannot sit on the floor wait wind enter your body
5) Cannot walk ard bare foot wait wind enter you stomach
6) Cannot eat male ( i forgot or is it female chicken?) chicken---very " du" poisonous and cause wounds to be inflammed
7)Must drink more brandy or DOM
8) Cannot praise baby in front of him wait he becomes conceited and naughty
9) Cannot bring baby in front of mirror and let him see , wait he does not want other people to carry him in future.
10) Must brush teeth for baby by using a hanky to clean his gums and the white stuff ( tar tar) on his tongue( my god ----where are the teeth in new borns)?

Hi Wittlewabbit



Wow...amazing...i realised i'm not the only one who have the same problem.hmmm...well when i was still on my confinement bout a month ago~ i too had the same stress as u.


1* living with in laws were never easy...for me, i just tried to hide in my room and avoid seeing them but well...my MIL mentioned that i'm rude to stay in the room and never go downstairs greet them when they come home or even join them for dinner downstairs. Well ahem...i had C-sec and like dozens of pple say i shld walk around...and den another dozens of pple say i shld lie in bed...well wad contradictions right? Anyway...simple just act blur.




My MIL even tried to apply some weird lotion on baby and guess wad~!! the lotion expired in yr 1999!!!! i told her no and she keep saying its ok. end up i hid the bottle away and told her that doc gave a diff medication and cant mix medication. Thus she reluctantly gave in.2* I also had stubborn confinement lady. I too wished i cld terminate her svcs but unfortunately she is employed by my mom. Well not that she is really bad...just that she is very naggy and very nosey about every single detail in my hse...like why the house so big and yet no big pail. why i didnt get more small face cloth for baby. (and yeah this is my first child and i'm pretty young when it comes to motherhood). Well i manage to get thru it by ignoring everything she say.


My MIL wanted me to drink DOM 24/7...coz i had many pple giving me DOM. A total bottle of 5 bottles...not including my 2 bottles of hard liquor soak with ginseng...8 bottles of rice wine!!! Baby was having heat rash...thus i told my MIL i cant take DOM coz doc mentioned that its too heaty~hahahaha although technically its not true~



4* My baby boy also had very high jaundice...he was admitted to hospital on the 6 day after he was born as his jaundice level was 264. Well...i tried all sorts of method. Put him under the sun, bathe him in "ke" (some kind of flower for baby to bathe), bathe him in guiness stout, gave him winter melon strips boil in water, go temple pray...etc and NOPE~ baby's jaundice is just as high. I was already desperate and to top it up, baby's buttocks was flamming red even 2 trips to his pedeatrician costing us $200+ doesnt help. I stopped BM and put baby on FM and yup within a matter of 2 days, his buttocks was back to normal. And within 1 week, his jaundice was back to normal. And dont worry, my baby's jaundice was there for about 3 weeks. Dont worry to stop BF even though the docs might disagree...i merely stop my baby for 1 week till his jaundice went down and he's back on BM again.Just be diligent and go for blood test to make sure it is going down.Sorry for being so lengthy but hope all these helps.

Things are getting better day by day. My mom came over this morning bringing a bouncer so we can put zhai zhai on it to sun .... unfortunately...it rained, so the sunlightwas not that strong. ...Anyway ,i noticed a bad habit of his today. He likes to fall asleep while suckling...and then wake up a few minutes later crying to suckle again....hmmm. but boy aint i am glad to let him in a way, in this way the boobies dun feel so choked and hard. lol



Yeah.....i am worried about his jaundice level . the last time was yesterday , that it peaked to 199. i dunno but i hope it will go down . I have been diligently recording down his pee, poo and drinking sessions.... made sure he is fed 3 hourly and he does wet his diapers to at least 6 , 7 times... sigh. Dun tell me not to be worried... as a mother, how can i not be?

anyway. i regretted hiring this confinement lady ...she is this traditional type who asks alot of questions about my family, trying to curry favour me , and naggy. Should have hired one from thomson medical instead. But i do appreciate i do have someone to help and not needing to pay.so i am not suppose to complain so much.* shrug*



My mother in law is also getting on my nerves. i am trying to hold my cool really regarding the practices involving the baby... like she will go to the market and ask this ask that, and want to try it out on the baby, well , her intentions are good, but i mean..... it's just not right. Just like giving baby to drink water first if he wakes up and not his feeding time. I told her it is not right cause it can upset the sodium level in babies and cause a seizure... but then she keep insisting... bloody hell. Till that day when she brought zhai to the clinic to check his jaundice level, i told her to ask the doc....and presto.. it worked.

I feel so horrid. i am caught in between . She keeps using the phrase" He is your son , but he is also my grandson..." till i am quite sick of it. i mean yes, it is true. but arent i the one who carried him around for 9 months? and had an operation for him? Good gracious.... i can understand the fact that she is proud that it is her first grandson....but she ought to respect my wishes.That is my stand.



Also i feel bad enough that i am not paying for the helper...so i dun wanna voice out too much about what food i think i should eat. It is lucky that dear has an option of moving back to SG....or i think w/o him i think i cant hold it in for long.. i am even reconsidering staying with the inlaws in future...


on a better note... zhai zhai had his first laugh today. he was being held by the c.day after feeding , my mom and the maid were ard him, and then all of a sudden he started laughing... or chuckles more like it... then everyone started laughing....immediately his laugh turned into a frown.....hehe isnt it funny? :D

cant sleep. feel like shit. smell like shit. It is a freaking conspiracy here.....the water pipe has screwed up in GILMAN HEIGHTS...and it is taking days to repair cause the place is privatised, as long as things are not under govt, you can forget abt it being repaired fast enough.....which means that i cannot sneak to wash my hair!!!!!!!. I can smell my hair and my breast milk every freaking nite....i hate it. and i cant sleep in low air con...or neither can i have a fan blowing at me....so can you imagine. life is freaking hell.....i just hope things get solved within this week, so that i can at least shut the bathroom doors to wash my hair secretly..as i am not supposed to. screw confinement rules...hygiene comes first

sigh ....next i am worried about my son...the jaundice level. it came down today....but still not good enough... just hope and pray he poos and pees more....i am starting breastf eeding again instead of pumping. and it certainly does help letting down of milk. just hope my cesarean wound recovers faster so i can walk up and down the freaking stairs without having to clutch my stomach and not feel faint.you see.. my baby sleeps downstairs w the confinement lady and i dun trust her very much cus she is quite stubborn. but ...sigh it has only been a week. lets see how....

hubby is gonna return back to hk in a week.....hopefully i can cope well by then.

Gosh!.....i hate myself for worrying so much!

Here pain , there pain, wrist pain, fingers pain, C section wound pain, Breast pain, and heart pain......

my baby is still a lodger at the nursery under the blue light. But he is a strong boy :D His birifudin level has dipped since day 4 and he is drinking well from the cup, and also peeing and pooing well. He is also smart... knowing how to suckle and put his fist to his pouting small mouth... Only thing is that he is a sleepy head...

I've seen him smile twice.. once was when i held him and rocked and sang to him. the other time in his cot. My heart stopped and melted... it was like angel's.....

Kaijie... mummy , cant wait to see you ok? U be strong and remember mummy loves you alot. and she is waiting for you at home..:D




___________________________________________________________________

BIRTH STORY



Admitted in to labour ward on sat 10 am to be induced.... went in , they violated me with a pessary tablet to induce labour...---to open the cervix . Cervix opens if you have contraction . ...my contractions came ...qutie powerful but... i din even feel much pain. weird huh... or maybe my pain threshold is good. the irritation was they did an IV for me on my left wrist and it heurst like shit cause i cant shirt my wrist. so immobile. and they kept doing CTG which mean putting 2 bands ard me to check for fetal heart beat and the contractions and every time i had to lie down 2 hours for them to check.......sigh... so i was induced and waited to 6 pm.. on sat for doc to check-----NO DIALATION!!!!!!

So they popped a second tablet in......CTG again.... * groan* and then waited till 5 / 6 am when i tot i peed on my bed.... nope! i called the nurse and she said water bag burst! i was damn happy ....thinking at least i have something going man...but when the doc checked..no dialation.......DAMMIT! -----i told my dear. i think i am going for c section , i dun wanna wait anymore. my patience is running out and i am very tired mentally and physically. i think the contractions are driving my baby crazy too....

Doc said ok! and he said how about 9.30 am? i was like ----so early???? He said he would eat his breakfast and come back....* grin* ....then i started to panick....gosh...i was really going in. and worse they din allow dear to acc me into the theatre. i called my mom, and cried ..was scared... i dunno for what but just scared... to be alone....

but in the end when the time came....i asked again for hubby to acc me . they said if it is emergency--- hubby cannot go in . i was like-- what the hell? mine is semi elective ok.. not emergency. so i said why dun u ask Dr Yam-- the senior consultant , my gynae... ( i know these pple cant make decision or too scared to make decision cause they are small flies) . and in the end. doc said OK!.....Mummy also came down to see me. and Hubby got changed...


I was brought into the op theatre to be prep first. i din take an epidural but a spinal block instead. there are so many indemnity forms to sign.... and after that nurse told be to curl my body up so anaesthetician can see my spine. damn pain alright---to curl cuase i have contractions and a big tummy... then the needle went in. I was shivering....not due to cold but due to the drug.....and they did an IV for me, check my BP ....There was this nurse called WU DANG....i think she should be called WU QING...... she was so rough on me... did my bp on the same hand as IV....what the hell ....

soon hubby came in and he was also dressed up / cleaned up in surgical uniform....he hid behind the screen with me. hehe...... he was also freaking out with me....hehe....i could feel tugging and pulling but nothing else other than that. I was also constantly shivering ......then suddenly...i felt a tremendous pressure on my tummy and i almost choked... the next thing i knew i heard my baby's cries.....then my hubby had to go out..........

He managed to cut the cord though.:P Will put a video here asap.

U go boy.....All mummy wants from u now is to drink up , pee and pooo all that toxic out ok? I miss u so much...

DO I WORRY TOO MUCH?


I din have a good sleep last night...---i realise that there is someone living behind the air con ..last night when i was watching Princess hours halfway, at the corner of my eyes, i saw a dark figure entering the back of the air con..... and worse when i went to the bathroom , i saw the nymphs partying underneath the mat again, and they have the cheek to continue when i turn on the lights!. ..It gets really frustrating cause when u wanna kill these things, they are gone like the wind, but when you are not paying attention, they are out gallavanting again!!!!How to make the place cleaner and safer!!!!! Have already strewn place w pandan leaves and the repellent.....Next straw, i will call the pests busters in.Dammit man...

Next is...i think my pregnancy is causing some of my hormones to make me impatient with some mothers who are just so blur.... i just dun understand some of the things which i feel as a mom you ought to read up , and the silly questions they ask. Or am i being too kiasu...? I read, i prepare.. i try to imagine how life be like w bebe in Hong Kong and the temperature there...and then i ask on the forum about getting a heater cum humidifier----my goodness---some of them tot i was asking for dehumidifier!!!!My gosh ...how *** can u get----why would i need a dehumidifier if the heater dries up the air huh? Use your brains la....think abit wun harm rite? Also some tot i wanted to use the heater in August...cmon...amd i that stupid? Aug is scorching hot, i just want to know the brand so i can do my shopping in August when they have sale ,silly! Dun pple ever think in advance huh? * SHAKE HEAD* U mean u wait for the last minute to realise that your baby is too cold to rush out to buy a heater? Some mother you are.

Also.....what does the word " induced" means?-----really induced labour does not mean u cant have a natural birth.. but i am abhorred how many pple think induced mean no natural...hiyo... disclaimer u are not pregnant la, but then again, isnt the phrase induce LABOUR self explanatory... not induce C-SECTION!....hiyo..my patience almost ran out when i had to explain that more than once...

PPLE OUT THERE....PLEASE GO READ A BIT MORE HOR.. WUN HARM ONE.

Alrighty :D Dear is coming home tommorow evening and I am going into the hospital on Sat morning...If i react well to the drug, I will get to see my baby as early as Saturday...If not, it will be Sunday...Dont really know what to expect, but i am not afraid of the labour pains, Not that i am concluding too early, but all i want is for my baby to be safe:D

Here is my list:
1) I hope baby gets an Apgar score of 2 , gives me a loud lusty cry :)
2) I hope baby has no /little jaundice--and perfectly healthy.
3) I hope to have a successful latch- on with the little one.
4) I hope baby and mummy to be out of the hospital by day 2.

On top of that, hope that dear gets to video tape the whole process, and that he gets to cut the cord ;D....( Provided he does not faint...) lol..

Will post pictures of my baby up soon. Cya! Lots of love, Elaine mama

( Thanks to baby-gaga for the pictures, really brillant job)

U know wat i dread most everyday?-------------That is when night falls and i cant get to sleep.

Sleep in incredibly difficult nowadays, and i thank God it is only 2 more nights of such...I should actually enjoy and savour it now... I was trying ( as usual) for the past hour to sleep before giving up and going to the lap top... Come to think of it i do love to lie on the bed( provided my side aint aching) and talk to my baby in the stomach, stroking the fat lump on the left and feeling the warmth. Telling him to be a strong boy and that he will see mama soon. Occasionally he responses with an arm or limb;) I really do hope KKH allows us to video the birth process . If not i will turn into a bitch on top of my labour pains....

Sigh. also.... everynight, i dread the fluttering of wings sound.. i just heard tt , that is why i am sleeping w the lights on tonight. Insects just seem to love this room. Absolutely hate it....and roaches just like to fly in no matter how many pandan leaves i have in the room. Maybe the maid aint doing her job......well. No wonder, my mother in law always complain that this maid is lazy....Better get her to thoroughly clean the whole room before baby is back. Dun wanna any dust mites man....:(

Another grievance for tonight....i am starting to forget how i look like....i lie in the bed and start to recall ----and to my horror , i cant remember how i look like...Pregnancy is a blessing indeed, but somehow , you lose your identity and a new one is forced upon you... I cant dye my hair, cant rebond it , cant find my ankles, and my waist went MIA......even then ,i am grateful that the whole pregnancy had been quite smooth. No nauseous , i din even puke a bit, no complications, no back ache till the last few weeks, ( even then it is sporadic rather than constant) --Only complaints i had were heartburns for a couple of night, have to pee often, having to sleep on my left side, and my swollen feet... which i think are all very minor issues compared to others. And really , i am very grateful ....the closure to this pregnancy is coming and i am pretty much happy rather than excited ... I look forward to having my body back, I look forward to holding my baby, I look forward to teaching him about this world, and I look forward to this whole learning journey. I wonder if dear feels the same-----or is he still in his lala land..but luckily he has never failed me..

Alrite folks....Here is the deal....just came home from KKH from my checkup... blood pressure is slowly creeping in, protein is present in me pee:( so doc say to induce my labour. Sigh. My cervix aint dilated ---just a finger tip hahaha...But during the CTG , my darling had a very good heart beat rate reaction towards a contraction.( which i din even know i had, lol) ...good job Mr zhai...:D

And back to story, Dr Yam wans me to be induced cause blood pressure monster in creeping in and my feet is swollen....not really good, moreover Mr Zhai is full term...I feel kinda excited to be able to see him alas! Relieved for dear ---he does not need to panicked when i will go into labour, but also now worried ---i am afraid , i will put Mr zhai in distress cause he is all so comfy in me stomy... but all being said:) I must say the overall mood is happy.

I hope familiy and friends pray for us mother and child to be safe.:D

I think i am going crazy. I talk to my stomy the whole day long. When i lie down to rest and i see the stomy not moving, i dare not shift around in case i wake Mr Zhai up. Am i crazy or what?

Anyway.....i dated my mom and brother ( not the best companions around tho...) to town to accompany me . I wanted to eat and shop, and i guess, i am left w them . Jh in hk , the rest of me frens i rather meet and sit down to chat over coffee than shop when i preggie. Cause i am a quick shopper. I am more like a guy when i buy something. I dun walk around in circles around the piece of cloth ten times before i decide to buy---but hey , that does not mean that i spend alot. I am a discerning shopper.....( that's more like it) . So far, i have not met gf who shops as fast as me. hehehe. Anyway. back to today, i wanna bitch about the fashion designs around town now.

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THOSE STUPID RETRO PRINTS OF CIRCLES AND STRIPES AND SQUARES. C'MON .....THEY REALLY DRIVE ME DIZZY AND THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY THE UGLIEST PRINTS I EVER SEEN ON EARTH.

yeah....not nice. Walked in wisma an isetan, and well that's about all i can sustain ....and nothing really caught my fancy. I prefer simple solid colours. If you wanna have prints, have it simple. ---That is what making a statement. Anyway....i am the walking credit card to mom and bro today... treated them to lunch, then bought mom 2 tops and myself a dress from zara. It is those kind of big, satiny ones, that you have to put a belt over...so that means after pregancy...see how much i want to be over this preggie thing ???Cant wait to have my body back. Sometimes i get so frustrated...i cant wear my shoes, i cant bend down , i cant wash my feet properly, i cant cut my toe nails myself( i dun believe in pedi---waste of money. ) if i drop stg , i have to use my feet and pick it up like some disabled---or like playing chatek , using the feet to scoop it up and hoping i catch it---and i talk to my stomach...really guys, i think i am going crazy. Bebe better come out soon... okie. I cant believe i lasted through a month without working. ugh. Next week i will officially be 38 weeks:D baby is more than ready...Let's see my docs appt on tues..How it goes..* cross my fingers*

Read the story below....It must be one of the most innocent and funniest birth story ever...:D



One day during a show and tell session in school, this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.""First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."


She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement."Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh! ' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)"


My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)



Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and breathe, breathe.They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inide there."Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

___________________________________________________________________

Now wasnt that just brillant? Middle wife and umbrella cord. Lol.... By the way..... yesterday's tornado was not a Big T , rather....it was just a water spout....:)

.........Was deep in my slumber when the phone rang...., " They say Singapore has tornado! Did you see? " I was like huh.....??? Come to think of it, there is one in my stomach....

But.. surprisingly...there was Really a Tornado....show you the pix...Seems like Singapore is no longer that safe a place to live in anymore huh....

....So angry. Alan Greenspan should be called Alan Greenspank.....


Anyway, mama went to the docs today... Did a CTG to see if mr zhai giving me any contraction and check his heartbeat rate...Doc reported everything was good. Also as usual the head is engaged and then he is in the right position for birth. Hiya....that is provided Mr zhai does not shift around again ;P

oh and i hit 61 kg !!!!!:)

Then i ask him my tonnes of questions... i told him i must know what to do if this happens or if that happens cause i will be the only sane person at home that wun panick..I also told him i dun wanna just call the hospital and be directed to the operator....Hahahha. then he gave me his personal cellphone no. PHEW..... wonder if he gives it to all his patients anot , but that really sets my mind at ease. Anyway i think Mr zhai wun wanna come out soon , he is like so contented inside Mama.....Besides, i am supposed to get tonnes of Braxton hicks...but no lei... only sometimes in the day i feel very crampy :( BOO HOO........

Mama also went to buy 3 drama serials to watch at home at the suggestion of wadashi.. :) now. that makes a happy mama, at least it gives me something else to do rather than watching the stock market or be on msn or surf the net for clothes to buy . Lol.....

U see people....see what i told you about the power of PATENTS?????
Biosensors International said it has been granted the US patent for its A9 drug.... and then the price rose from 0.92 plus to 1.09......seeee!!!!!See the power of Patents!!!!?

Anyway finally got rid of the stupid share after 5 long months of wait. Ugh.

I have never liked pain that much in my whole life......

Last night, i had a few braxton hicks contractions, one of which lasted for quite a while..... and then i had 2 stabbing pain on my right tummy downwards...i felt soooooooo happy and excited, i thought," Ok.....get worse get worse!" But somehow i knew it would not....It wun come just like that for me. Mr Zhai is gearing me up for the Real McCoy..... lol...Anyway it has been getting incredibly difficult to sleep at night, Heavy little fellow inside, each time you turn , it is like lifting a rock from your left to the top of you tummy " rest for a while" then heave it to the right. hahahha. then you gotta adjust and make sure he gets the support if not he will start squirming....let alone those neck and shoulder ache w no dear to massage for me.And those false alarms to the toilet to pee. Mr zhai loves squeezing my bladder for fun ya know...Anyway... The highlight is the docs appt tommorow !!!! I hope i am effaced and dilated.....I can actually feel intense pressure downwards from my hips , down the pelvic.... hmmmmmm

Anyway....I bought stuff from Victoria's secrets to cheer myself up ... Teddies, babydolls, and 2 tube dress. No, no....not for post labour XXX action but just some stuff to make me happy. They will probably arrive on or after the arrival date of Mr Zhai..:)

ooooo. i have such a sweet tooth nowadays...been eating lots of the white chocolate oreo wafer sticks, hagaan daaz ice cream, strawberries( It's in season again!!!) and donuts.....hiya.better stop.not really good.


Something funny about Mr Zhai....he and i always take afternoon naps nowadays, but this happened twice already. In the midst of our sleep, if anyone calls on my cellphone, and i answer it, he will wake up and get the hiccups, and there,you can see my tummy vibrating .....Poor fellow. Does sudden movements cause hiccups too?


Finally bought Prevage for the eyes!!! I was reading the ingredients and usage again when i saw the PATENT word.....somehow. when something is patented , it gives it more credibility rite? But then again, 99% of the beauty products are patented...hmmmm

Dear Darling son or tenant at will:


You have 18 days in which you can either gather your belongings and vacate the premises, or wait until you will be forcibly removed from the property.
You are being evicted on two points. First, due to a breech of contract and destruction of property.

Expansion only to the front of the property, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the property were also made. Remodeling and gutting the property was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both upper and lower levels of the property.

Lastly, late night parties have been discovered on the property and are not greatly appreciated. I can't wait to see you, regardless of aforementioned greivances.



Your Loving Mother, Elaine
********************************************************************


Dear Loving Mother/Landlady,



I'm sorry for any disturbance I have caused. When I originally signed the contract, I was unaware of the enormous task of growing. I will try to control the late night partying but please know I expect you to join the party come mid-June, per the Feeding Clause in the contract .

While destruction of property and leaking seem to be the major cause of complaint, I fear they will only get worse in the days to come. I understand that this was not the original intent of my residence, but at this time we may need to revisit the terms of my lease. I fear that eviction at this time is not advisable as I am comfortable in here. Although lately things are getting tight. I am a Gan----We need our space.

In the Unconditional Love Clause in the contract, I must remind you that you are indeed stuck with me as a resident of your home for the period of several years subsequent to this. Thank you for your time and your body as housing!
I can't wait to be held by you and Daddy,

Your loving son/ and willful tenant, err...tenant at will,
Gan Kai Jie

Have you ever felt that you are willing to give up everything you have in your life --everything i mean, even your life...for someone? ----I asked dear this question in the car on our way back...

I dunno , all of a sudden then , i just felt an overwhelming feeling for my baby... It is a totally different feeling when you fall in love , and you thought that you will give up everything for him. But this time the feeling is slightly different.. I dunno how to describe it.. Is that maternal instinct? This feeling also evolves when you are married as compared to when you are only a boyfriend/ girlfriend status... Somehow, there is this strong will in you to keep everything together---A happy family.


__________________________________________________________________

Has a sumptuous din din tonight w dear and frens. been a while since i had such nice company and food. I mean , usually i am stuck @ home in the room ..... We had the best of white steamed
promfet, spinach, chicken, sweet & sour pork , claypot toufu... yummm.....and later we went over to Big O for dessert. Another yum yum for the chocolate cheesecake--Cailin was rite. Really SWEET & GOOD.....Just what preggie mama is looking for......:D so That is what makes today a Happy Saturday....

Hiyo.....it really is hard to tell what one will become when one is older, cant imagine....One of my ex classmate is actually a singer now..She is even working with people from Lord of the Rings & Superman returns... Not bad huh?

Ong Yunyu....wonder if you heard of her, her songs are quite quirky and easy on the ears:) I do like the melody:) It is so unlike her in the past though....( Still pleasantly surprised!!! :O

Birds eye View of my school

Tokens of love from students on Teachers' Day

The Band i used to conduct--See the bassoon? I used to play that ;)

As much as i detest the principal with the frumpy grumpy look ......These memories cannot be eradicated...

I CANT FIND MY ANKLES ANYWHERE ON MY FEET!!!!!!

Could not sleep till 2 plus am last night, felt like i needed to puke. Din feel like heart burn when the acid will rise up my throat...and felt so miserable.. i tot i had food poisoning..:(. started to feel sorry for myself and that how i am all alone and wada not w me....sigh. BUT i managed to snap out of it, and get a grip. Told zhai zhai while caressing my stomach we both must get through it.. sms dear and he called back immediately. Hearing his voice is really comforting, though it din help the sick feeling...sigh. i slept up right and zhai zhai kept wriggling ard as if to show his discomfort too. Poor bebe, i must have woke up up , cus he was one warm lump slumped on my left before i sat up right , then it was when i started moving that he started squirming... I had to caress him and sooth him and he literally stopped moving:) Good bebe, he understands his mama. I love you so much already.

I killed my first Freaking cockroach !!!! At age 26!!!!! Good gracious, all my life there are always people around coming to my rescue...not tonight. And so preggie mama has to fight it out with the stupid cockroach with menacing wings and disgusting feelers..... can you imagine it spreading it wings , flying across your face, intruding your naked skin with its dirty , hairy legs......before flying off again.......oh my god....I told myself i will not be able to sleep in peace if that happens lor... and so....i ran downstairs , grab the baygone and aimed at the devil. Then when it was nearly knocked out by the potent stuff, i grabbed a heavy duty magazine and attacked it. .....Job done! Oh boy....i almost tot i had a contraction there.

I dun care if you think it is no big deal, to me, i think i just crossed another mile stone. Muaaaaaaahahhaha..:)

Nothing much to report today...Mr zhai rose up late with mama at 10 plus am...tried a cat nap in the afternoon but unsuccessful..and guess what when i am bored.. i shower. Shower is a good way to pass time i realise. Makes u fresh again. Lol...

Called up one of my old friends and good to hear her voice. Gonna catch up w her next week( i be 37 weeks!!!!) Apparently she delivered @ 36 weeks...oh man... why am i so slow huh..?I think Mr zhai is too contented inside me...

Let me see......we are almost done with the preparation for the arrival of Mr Zhai...:D

The bumwear diapers ( Above) just needs to be washed a few times for them to be optimally absorbent and that is it:) My hospital bag is also packed and baby's essentials are all bought:)

What we do not have is

1) A bouncer

2) A digital thermometer

3) A swaddle/grobag

4) A towel wrap --this one i will get during the next doctor's visit.

5) Pram---probably getting one only in hongkong , dont wanna lug everything back there.

_________________________________________________________________

I was looking around and found this fisher-price bouncer.( Rainforest edition is the one in the picture...but if unavailable any bright and colourful ones w music and good from birth to a much older age is appreciated :P)..So ahem , frens and family , if you wanna get any gifts, pls dont buy any baby's clothes cus he will out grow them quickly:) Dont wanna see your gifts go to waste rite?

Check out this bouncer by Fisher Price Rainforest Bouncer-- easily found in Novena's United square 's www.mumsandbabes.com.sg or any Mothers care shop.Tee Hee...Besides they are having their singapore sale early.

Or you can get Mr Zhai a digital thermometer---Specifically Braun brand.--dun wanna squeeze anytg up his rectum you see. lol...Baby Einstein music, or rattles are also very much appreciated:P.

Oh ya, worse come to worse, you can get poor confined mama a very much wanted book called_--Secrets of a baby whisperer by Tracy Hoggs or Raising Boys--By Steve Biddulp.

*sob sob* i couldnt sleep last night. i had to force myself to watch TV till i became sleepy enough to ignore the mambo dancing inmy stomach...watchign tv has never been such a chore. i watched desperate housewives, to the local flick--after hours to beauty and the geeks...then even after it ended at 1 am..i still could not sleep..cause the party just got started inside..cried a little...and tried to soothe and calm baby down. then finally concussed---TOTALLY EXHAUSTED.My boy is certainly a late riser...it is 11 now.and he is still sleepin!!!!

God pls forgive me today for being impatient with mom when teaching her how to use the digital camera.....I did not mean to , but really was exasperated when she din even know the basic functions after teaching. Not that i am trying to redeem myself but i realise it makes me realise that she has indeed grown older. Age is catching up.... and she is definitely not in sync with technology. Even after getting the handphone for her for Mother's Day, she cant cope with all the silly jargon like blue tooth, nokia's dictionary, wall paper....She was so fascinated with the blue tooth function when i used it to send her some of my pix, and in spite of endless warnings not to turn it on herself, she did so. She even denied like a little kid in turning it on, or so called claimed she din even know that she turned it on ( dunno which one is more convincing) when i saw the blue tooth icon on the hand phone today, and chided her. Then i explained to her that turning bluetooth on is pointless unless u wanna obtain or send info from another phone or a pc...simple terms....Then it was like an epiphany for her.HAHAHA...;D....sigh. She is getting old... I am so sad.

ooooooooooo....Ladies and Gentlemen...I am proud to announce that Mr Zhai's head is about 2/5 engaged in my pelvis....:) Doctor did a cervical examination today and told me he could even touch the baby's head. lol...poor fellow squirm inside.. But there is no effacement or dialatation yet...hmmm . His words were: walk more, squat more but dont travel too far away from home by yourself....lol...Which means!!!!!!-----It is near time!!!!!!!Yipeeeeeee!!!!



But today...i suffered from a very bad lower left back ache....i guess due to my sleeping position...argh. poor me poor me...so painful when i walk and i have to counterpress the pain away. argh!!!


Oh yeah and baby is looking up. He is not in occipital -anterior position cus his head is looking up...oh child of mine.. are you looking at mummy's guts? :P

One more thing...i am so elated that dear dear is coming home for the weekend. i Miss him soooooooo much!!!!!;D and he finally chose a name. * clap * * pat pat* well done husband!

I realise that my bebe gets hiccups wihenever i change my position drastically like when i am sitting down , to lying down...another interesting thing is that if i sit upright, slightly slanted leaning to the back , he tends to stretch in the tummy and squirm around.Then you can see an arm or limb moving across the stomach.:) HEHEHE....



SIGH. I AM 36 WEEKS BY MIDNIGHT TONIGHT...:) CANT WAIT...STILL HAVE 4 MORE IF WANNA CARRY TO 40 WEEKS, I WAS THINKING, HOPEFULLY BY 38 WEEKS. HAHHAAH, AS LONG AS BEBE REACHES 3 KG:p GANBATTE NE ZHAI ZHAI...700 MORE GRAMS!

Tried to put a video of Paris crying after leaving the lawyer....dun call me morbid, but it is just refreshing to see her doing that after countless numbers of "uncalled for" acts that she did.If the link doesnt work, just go to www.thesuperficial.com...

It wasnt such a happy Saturday afterall.....

Anyway....seriously i dunno what is the association between tai-tais and mahjong. Do you mean all tai-tais have to play mj? Or you mean they have nothing else to do but play mj? That is where you are so bloody wrong.... these ladies have so much more meaningful activities to do rather than gamble...

And if i am ever gonna be a tai-tai , which i wun anyway, ( how does a SAHM gets to there anyway....lol) I definitely wun be doing the mj thing. I cant stand women who gamble. You might come to the defense of mj saying that it prevents alzhiemer's disease....but ya right, why dont you do a whole book SUDOKU instead .Doesnt that need brain cells too? I cant stand women who gamble---recreational or not. Dont give me the bull. In fact i cant stand people who gamble----why are you so stupid as to indulge in such no guaranteed stuff and throw your money away. Break families up cause of that, gamble away your rent, your milk money for the child....and the reason you give.---I am buying a chance , i am buying a chance( TO LOSE TOO--MIND YOU)

N the very reason why i am so pissed is because some people asked him to go to MACAU yesterday....mind you these people are the lawyers/ bankers.. who just wanted to have some fun.And.....i cant speak on their behalf...but i do hope they are the kind that if they lose, they will think twice about gambling... BUT NOT MY DEAR! HE IS NOT THE KIND TO DO SO . AND HE HAS A FAMILY NOW!!!So my point is that if they wanna fucking go Macau , just go and leave him alone. Dont create any opportunities for him to go to fucking Macau. IDIOTS....and you know what? It makes it seem like I am the bad guy for being so reluctant to let him go , but of course you people wun know HOW ADDICTIVE IT CAN BE. I am only being rational enough to stop him. Ggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr. and the worse part was the girlfriends were going there to gamble too.* fainted* like i said i cant stand gers who gamble. Really. UNLESS YOU ARE FILTHY RICH LIKE PARIS HILTON, SO YOU CAN INDULGE IN A BIT OF DIRT. IF NOT....THERE ARE CERTAINLY MORE MEANINGFUL STUFF TO DO.!

Been trying to find this for a while---- Taken from movie" Yesterday once more"

OBSESSED...........

Anyway talked to dear for 1 hour and 13 minutes this morning , had bean curd and kueh and later Lana cake with milk.....What a happy Saturday...;D

RIDICULOUS , ABSURD AND INHUMANE....

Had a growth scan yesterday....my heart pain ah...Baby 's growth was in the 3rd percentile... hiya...:( He should be heavier. Did i eat not enough? Anything i can do? Actually 3rd percentile is perfectly ok , i am just kiasu i guess. Cant help wat , i am a mom......!!!!!

N his head circumference is 305 mm, his stomy is 292mm. Heheh.. I am boring you with all these details huh... and His weight is 2.32kg @ 35 weeks...hmmm....baby is in OP position... * comments stolen from the document written by e poerson who scanned me* ..OP position means the baby is head down.... exact comments were" Head in OP postition , deep in maternal pelvis" hmmmmm hope Mr Zhai turns to Occipito-anterior position and faces me...Then birth will be so much easier...

I really have cantonese withdrawal now...hiyah... :(

SOOOOOOO IRRITATING..... NO WIN NO LOSE.
What moral victory? ....My foot.

Stay-at-home mom’s work worth $138,095 (USD)
Annual amount she’d earn as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist.
Check this out man.....

One more thing......great just great.....

I typed TYAN on search on Friendster and the results are 90 % female....
@#$%^&*()......


How lao gong?Can you get your ass moving in searching for a name for zhai zhai?

MAMA GONNA EXERCISE.....I WOKE UP WITH A SORE LOWER LEFT BACK AND SNUG LITTLE BOY SLEEPING INSIDE ME.....MIND YOU , HE IS SUPPOSED TO WEIGH 2.5 KG NOW...

OLD MEMORIES.....

I think i found myself lifesavers....

1) For Movies

2) For Hawker food ....when i am confined @ home with just the maid.


and i just found out about www.shopbop.com and www.anthropologie.com from Female mag.

Thank God.....

The moment seems to freeze
I look down at him
Suddenly i felt overwhelmed
Lonely, sad, wistful
Wishing dear was here
Something searing
Not in my throat
He moves across
Cant be seen
Can be imagined
Couple of peals being released
Wipe them away
A wry smile
Much better.
Much better.........

A NEW CHAPTER



Oh no!!!!!. What have i gotten myself into?:P

hehhe...i dunno.. i dont really know how to describe how i feel for giving up work for at least a year. yes...a year and no more. zhai zhai must be tough, mama only gives him one year, will teach him to understand...:( dun want those seperation anxieties...good gracious.It is much better earning your own money than getting money from your hubby, call me crazy, but it is a pity i give up work if i am so young rite?

AND....it is not just looking after zhai zhai.
it is
1) looking after a vulnerable being in a foreign country
2) no financial independence
3) cant shop without guilt
4) have to learn to cook more nutritious food for yourself so can breastfeed.thank god, zhai zhai can live on milk till 6 or 7 months.
5) no interaction w colleagues...though i already enlisted myself in the singapore mama expat circle. haha.


My topics of conversation will be like: err where can i buy pandan leaves, or like now, where to buy gnor hee or ma yau fish in hk, how come hk does not have ikan billis stock?.....Not that i am hating my life, but it just dawned upon me....i have opened a new chapter in my life....
No more zouk, no more velvet,cause dear dun even go there anyway,
No more suitors cause i hardly go out( i must stress----not that i want & dun get me wrong ok--but it just reiterates tt you are out of the league :P--gives you a pang of envy when you see those sweet young thing and think back---oh , i used to be better than her. HEHE lol)


Anyway, this is another milestone after my current one---which is to deliver zhai zhai safe and sound.:)and i really am glad i married the right man. My dear---though he does steps on my toes sometimes, he is one that i can really rely on.One that never fails to comfort me if i am really down, unconditionally.One that i wanna grow with....

Thank God for all these and how you make me strong and how you teach me to learn.