Dear Lord

I donno for sure if my breastmilk will boost Dylan's immunity cause anyway it's just one feeding of 150ml a day. That' s how much i can pump plus extra a bit stored away.Well, i am trying, i know you can tell. I am gonna rent the ameda pump to try , maybe it is the pump's fault. Or maybe i should pump every hour , ahaha, that way i will go siao.I think all humans wanna hear that they are doing right, but i believe breastmilk dun and wun stop babies from falling sick. Only by falling sick will they get stronger, one PD told me to see it this way," if they dun fall sick , they will never be able to get the antibodies to boost their immunity" ....but the PD was not a mom before. i read in other forums on how babies as young as 9 months have to use an inhaler and neubuliser.. can you imagine how scary that is? But Lord , i am trying ok? ok , maybe i can increase my frequency of pumping.....

I told hubby i am perpetually tired. i dunno why, maybe it is due to night interrupted sleep, funny sleep times, i know i am suppose to adjust my system to Dylan's but it is difficult. sometimes, i am upstairs resting, i hear baby crying downstairs, how can dun go down to check rite? Up down up down the stairs like that....become a few hours liao. plus tuition , plus pumping, plus evening time with Dylan and cleaning him up...that's a day gone. Well, i think hubby dun think very much of it, and dunno how i feel. Everytime i say i am tired, he say" why not let Maid look after tonight? " " Phui! Fwah.... you think Dylan a toy ah, not happy, tired , can just push to maid, you never think maid look after dylan in day, tired, wait at night anyhow then how? you never think wait Dylan smell her BO, wait like her BO , at night dun have her BO cannot sleep then how?" So angry. he will NEVER understand.

humph. then best during weekend, he watch F1 and soccer at night , then complain tired at night, think got maid , then everything can just throw to maid, i go tuition in the weekend daytime, he upstairs watching soccer and F1.Dylan just throw to maid. maybe i din see him spending time with dylan so i am being biased here. but PLS LA, WAKE UP FROMYOUR DREAM!

Love, an angry mama