i had so many braxton hicks contractions last night. was so uncomfortable. and i dun even know if it is that or the real thing or so. and reading about some baby borned prematurely at 30 weeks din help . Cried myself to sleep last night when w was outside playing the lap top. was already feeling uncomfortable when he came back as i was resting on the couch , sleeping but felt better after dinner, then it came back again. then w was at his computer game, and somehow , i am not suppose to disturb him. that is what i feel. but later at 10 when i decided to go and sleep it off --the pain, i asked him to bring in the comforter, yet he din sense the urgency when i said i could not wait. and then later when realise i really had the contractions,he said it is my fault cause i always call for him and then that is why he could not tel the difference in urgency. Cmon.....it was really urgent and i DID voice out and then he say i never ask. Some how it is my fault!!!!!!

on hindsight, i am wondering if he needs to see me unconscious on the floor, or blood dripping out of me before he actually reacts. he says---anything i want , ask. but how can a person in pain ask.where is the strength to get up even to ask. deep down inside i feel so alone in this pregnancy.

Well , to be fair , it is not like w does not do anything, he does offer help sometimes, but only after very obvious signs. and i think his mentality is that ----leave it to the doctors, cause he does not know whta the fug is happening to me anyway , so dun disturb him. but my point is that he does not understand the power of spouse support. then why the hell do husbands need to be in the operating theatre or when the wife is having contractions when he does not know a damn thing.

so many differences in this. and really i am glad somehow i only have 2 months left. really . if i ever go into labour, i dun think i expect much from him. sad to say but true. sigh. so sad inside.really hope it can change though afer the antenatal class but let's see. he has not even read the pregnancy book, if i had not hidden the storybooks, i bet he will still be at iwo jima. c'mon, which is more urgent. isn't it obvious that acitons speak louder than words. :(