Been drowning myself and trying to escape during the free times in the Korean dramas....

baby is here. and after wedding... everything is like an anti climax now. and no more love in the air. seems like an arduous journey ahead of me, especially at the times when Dylan cries and i dunno what to do, like i have already fed him. I keep thinking how i will cope after the c. lady goes.

dear seems so caught up with his job , his changes in his job , that he dun really ask me how i cope anymore.I know his relocating back here is also for the benefit of me, but somehow i think that , i dun really play a part, cause if there is a more attractive package overseas, he wun give it up for me and Dylan.

and then especially this weekend.. he does not need to stay till sunday but he still stayed. i din say anything cause i tot he might need a breather, but how i wish he had taken the initiative not to stay instead. sometimes i get quite sick of spellin things out. isnt it only natural for the father to want to spend more time w his new born and wife rather than going to Macau. On the context of gambling and making more money, i dun need that. I am pretty satisfied w what i have got, but what is he thinking? why so greedy?it is also not as if he is in dire straits to have to gamble for money.and then when i call, i get blamed. it is not as if i called persistently, he din even call back throughout the day to check on me. if he thinks leaving me with the confinement lady is enough, i might as well marry her.Right?

i feel so sad. i need a hug now. i wish Dylan can reach out and say mama dun cry.